


In your eyes

by segoviax



Category: Original Work
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Medieval, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Anxiety, Bisexual Male Character, Bisexuality, Canon Gay Relationship, Canon Het Relationship, Eventual Romance, F/M, Family Bonding, Family Issues, Fantasy, Fire Powers, Firebending & Firebenders, Healing, Het and Slash, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Kidnapping, M/M, Magic-Users, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Resistance, Romance, Sorceresses
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:02:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26947915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/segoviax/pseuds/segoviax
Summary: In a world where magic is wielded only by the royal family, Noah, one of the king's children, feels like a failure. It's not just that his older brother, Victor, has been chosen as heir, and his sister, Livia, is more designed for the type of life they had. Noah feels wrong in all the ways that really matter and it's only his best friend Thomas, a humble farmer, who keeps him with his feet on the ground. But when his sister gets kidnapped by the resistance, a group of people who want the magic to be released to everyone, Noah has to cooperate with his brother to save her. A brother who is basically a stranger to him.
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is the first original work I post on this platform. I hope you enjoy it <3 The first chapter is short because I just want to try this thing out and see if you like it! Let e know what you think if you want to!

**NOAH**

Noah knew that it was a bad idea to stay home longer than necessary. He always tried to disappear before his father and Victor came back from their morning hunt, but Liv had insisted that he kept her company instead.

“I barely see you anymore” she’d said, making Noah’s stomach twist with guilt. It wasn’t his sister’s fault if the palace had become an uncomfortable cage, too tight for Noah to bare. He wasn’t like his siblings: he needed his freedom to be able to breathe. Victor was the heir, so since they were children he’d always been used to the court’s life, the trainings, the responsibilities. He was literally born for them. Liv, instead, seemed to be born to be a princess. Always calm, graceful and patient. Not even their rough father could resist to her kindness, and she always managed to soften him a little bit. Noah, on the other hand, wasn’t much. He wasn’t a warrior, or a politician, or a prince. As a matter of fact, he suspected that their father was secretly relieved that he chose to be home as little as possibile. The king didn’t have any use for his second-born worth nothing.

“He’s back” Liv cheered, making Noah startle, and she swiftly walked down the stairs to meet Victor, who had indeed just returned from the hunt. His brother wore a white and blue uniform, the same one the guards had on, and his blonde hair was dump with sweat. Nonetheless, he looked composed and elegant as ever, and he even let out a small smile when he saw Liv. From what Noah had been able to see, she was the only one who Victor smiled to. And, also, the only one who was always happy to see him. His oldest brother was powerful, and intelligent, but he wasn’t liked by many. His stiff and unforgiving personality made sure of that.

Noah sighed, and he reached his siblings down, knowing all too well that it was too late to avoid this meeting. When Victor caught him in his sight, the smile disappeared, replaced by a bored, indifferent look. “Noah” he said, making the name sound like an insult.

Noah did his best to grin. “Brother” he greeted him, emphasizing the word.

“I didn’t expect you to be here” Victor replied, staring him from head to toe, “or to be sober”

Liv brushed her hand on Victor’s arm in reprimand. “Vic, stop”

“It’s fine, Livvy”, Noah assured her with a bright smile, “the old brother just envies my beautiful life composed by the simple life’s pleasures”

“Yeah, because getting drunk all day long must be very satisfying. I assume you’re so proud of yourself”

Noah didn’t let his smile fade. “I am, actually. The booze’s the only way I can forget that I am related to you”

Victor’s expression darkened. “I wish I could have the same privilege”

“Boys” Liv complained, “let’s not do this for once, alright? Noah hasn’t been home in forever”

The heir scoffed, starting to take off his hunting gloves. “I wonder why. Being served all day must be a real burden. Passing out in taverns and strangers’ beds is so much better”

Noah’s mouth twitched, but he refused to give his brother the satisfaction to elicit a reaction out of him. So, he tried to keep his face neutral as he said: “You know _nothing_ about my life”

“What’s there to know? You do nothing”

Liv’s smile turned sad. “Victor”

“Whatever” Noah replied, swallowing his useless disappointment. He felt so stupid. Why did Victor’s words always hurt that much? He didn’t care about anyone’s opinion, and his older brother certainly didn’t know him enough to judge fairly but, still, he had the power to make Noah feel like shit. And the worst thing was that it was Noah himself who was giving the power to him. He shouldn’t have cared, he should’ve pretended not to see him and just leave as he always did. But he was a fucking masochist who just didn’t know how to let go.

“Eloquent” Victor commented but, as soon as he spotted Liv’s face, he stayed quiet. Their sister had let go of the heir’s arm, and was looking at the both of them with disapproval. “Why can’t you just be nice to each other?”

“He doesn’t even respect me, or father, or our position”

Noah scowled. “Respect goes both ways”

Victor rolled his eyes. “Always playing the victim”

And…that was enough. “I’m out of here” Noah concluded, not even bothering to grab his coat from upstairs before heading to the main doors.

Liv sighed. “Noah, don’t go”

He paused just a moment, turning around to give his sister a small smile.“Sorry, Livvy. I just can’t right now”

“Then I’m coming with you” She offered, moving toward him. Before Noah could protest, Victor gently took their sister’s wrist in his hand.  
“Liv, let him go”

Liv turned to their older brother, her gaze full of determination. “No, Victor, _you_ let me go”

The heir’s eyes widened. “But, Liv-“

“All I asked was for you to be nice to him, and you couldn’t do that, not even for me. Well, if your pride is that important to you, let’s it keep you company instead of me. I’m going with Noah”

Something like genuine sorrow passed on Victor’s face, and Noah couldn’t help but feel guilty. He wasn’t worth this fight, he wasn’t worth his sister’s support against their brother. “Livvy-“

Liv ignored him, and she pulled her wrist out of Victor’s grip to reach him near the main doors. “Let’s go”

Noah knew better than protest again but, as they left the palace, he could’ve sworn that the temperature had raised significantly. He didn’t have the nerve to look back at his brother, or at the dismay on his face for not being chosen. Noah should’ve been happy to be picked over Victor for once, but he knew what their sister meant to him. Liv was the only one who he genuinely loved, and he couldn’t help but feel like he was taking something away from him. Despite everything, that was the last thing he wanted.


	2. Chapter 2

**NOAH**

“You didn’t have to fight with him over me” Noah said after a few moments of silent walking. His sister hadn’t asked where they were directed to, but he had the feeling that she was already aware. Liv was the only one who knew where he went when he was upset and that, no, it wasn’t in a tavern as Victor had suggested.

Liv calmly smiled. “You’re my brother too, Noah. I have the right to be in your company without him treating you like that. If he can’t behave, then fine, we’ll be without him”

“He wasn’t the only one who misbehaved, though”

She chuckled, taking his arm under hers to walk together. The gesture had been so delicate that Noah had barely noticed, but his sister didn’t look at him as she said: “You try, Noah. You try so hard, and I know it’s not easy. I love Victor, but he can’t seem to swallow his pride, not even for us”

“That’s not true. He would do anything for you, Liv”

She suddenly stopped, forcing him to do so as well. “Why are you defending him so much?”

Honestly? He didn’t know. Victor was an asshole with him and, still, he couldn’t forget his expression at Liv’s rejection. He’d seemed truly upset, and Noah didn’t want that. He didn’t want to cause any trouble, or to hurt anybody. He shouldn’t have stayed. He’d ruined everyone’s day.

He sighed. “I don’t know, I just don’t like the idea of him being upset”

“Then he should’ve been nicer to you. You’re not always in the wrong, Noah. You’re not always the one who has to leave. Sometimes, you should stand your ground and fight”

Noah couldn’t help but laugh. “With Victor?”

“With whoever tries to undermine you or make you feel wrong. You deserve better than being belittled to a lazy drunk. You’re so much more than that”

***

When they arrived at the farm, Noah’s shoulders instinctively relaxed. It was the kind of gesture that it could only meant that you were home. He smiled at the thought, feeling immediately better than before. Sometimes, when the days were tougher than the others, he forgot that he wasn’t alone. His father could despise him, and his brother could think of him as a nobody, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t have other people who thought otherwise. And thank the gods for them.

“Thomas!” Liv cheered, running toward Noah’s best friend, who was dressed in work clothes, his face dirty with soil. He looked tired, and sweaty, but he beamed as soon as he saw Liv, opening his arms to gently embrace her. His sister, though, wasn’t on the same page. In fact, she basically threw herself at Thomas, making him unstable on his feet for a moment. Luckily, he caught himself in time, making sure to keep the both of them on their feet.

Liv didn’t seem like she’d noticed the fall she’d barely avoided, because her smile was unfazed.“ I’m so happy to see you!”

Thomas slightly blushed. “Me too, your highness. Oh, I’m ruining your dress” He must have realized in that moment that he was still in his stained clothes, because his redness worsened, and he tried to carefully move Liv away.

She ignored the gesture, putting her head on Thomas’ shoulder. “Don’t worry about my dress, and I already told you not to call me that!”

Noah grinned at the sight. “Having fun, Tommy?”

Thomas glared at him as Liv let him go. Her blue dress was now stained with dirt, but she didn’t seem to mind. “Don’t call him that, you know he hates it”

Her brother’s grin widened. “I suppose you’re the only one allowed to give him nicknames?”

“Tom is barely a nickname”

“And I actually like it” Thomas added, making Liv smile.

Noah laughed. “Of course you do”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Denial looks really bad on you, Tommy”

“Leave him be” Liv scolded him, “you’re embarrassing him”  
“Is he blushing again?”  
“I’m not!” Thomas protested, “I never did”  
Just as Noah was about to say that he very much did, two little girls, both dressed in purple, ran toward them.

“Liv!” They squinted, hugging Liv’s legs, “you’re back”

His sister’s smile softened, and she placed her hands on their backs, pulling them close. “My beautiful princesses”

Thomas looked as he was about to have an heart attack. “Jane, Sophie, leave the princess alone”

The twins just hugged her tighter. “Liv told us to ignore you when you say that” Jane, the shorter, said. Sophie just nodded, and Liv laughed. “Those are my girls”  
“If they’re bothering you…”

“They could never” Liv assured him, and Thomas smiled warmly, nodding once.

“Unbelievable,” Noah commented, leaning on Thomas’ side, “in all these years of friendship I’ve never heard you call me prince. I’m quite jealous of the treatment you reserve for my sister”

His friend shove him off of him. “That’s because she can behave herself and you can’t”

“I heard that before”

Thomas’ smile faded. “Noah, I didn’t mean it like that”

Noah smiled, lightly shoving him away as he had before. “I know, I was just kidding”

His friend didn’t look convinced. “Right. Did something happen at the palace?”

The prince looked at his sister, but she was being dragged into the house by the twins, so she was out of ear for now. Just then Noah allowed himself to lose his grin and sigh. “Nothing, just Victor being Victor”

“So, an asshole”

“Yeah, pretty much. But he’s got a few points”

“He’s got nothing if not a bad attitude and a superiority complex”

Noah chuckled. “You’re talking about your future king”

“See if I care. My future king is a dick”

“He’s not that bad”

Thomas gasped, pinching him. “Noah, snap out of it, what are you talking about? He treats you like crap”

“First of all, ouch” Noah whined, stroking his own arm, “second of all, Victor may be an asshole to me, but he’s good to Livvy, and with our father.”

“So what? You’re nothing so it doesn’t matter if he treats you like that?”

“I’m not saying that.”

Thomas sighed, bracing his arm on Noah’s shoulder. “Victor doesn’t know who you are, okay? What he says about you doesn’t mean anything”

Noah shrugged. “I don’t care what Victor says”

“You just said that ‘he’s got a few points’”

The prince did his best to laugh. “Well, I **do** get drunk quite often”  
“Is that what he said?”

“Basically”

“And nothing else?”

Noah pulled away from Thomas, suddenly self conscious. “I’m tired of talking, let’s go to the twins”

“Noah-“

“What?” He hissed, the words bursting out of him stronger than he’d intended to. Thomas’ face fell, and the guilt ran deeper in the pit of Noah’s stomach. That was not why he’d come here, he didn’t want to take it out on the only real friend he had. It wasn’t his fault if Victor’s disgust for him and his lifestyle still gnawed at him like a chronic pain. It sounded ironic, but Noah really could’ve used a drink right now. Or twenty. Or more.

“Noah” Thomas tried again, this time gentler, “what else did he say?”

He snorted, looking away. He tried his best not to scratch the scar he had on his inner wrist, the only one he had on his entire body. A wound of different times, when he hadn’t allowed his power to heal himself, because he had needed a reminder of the pit he’d just hit.

 _“Never again”_ He’d told himself that night. He was beginning to regret that choice.

Noah sniffed, a sad laugh threatening to escape his lips. “Nothing much, just that all I do is passing out in taverns and strangers’ beds”

He could literally see the rage passing through Thomas’ eyes. “That’s what he said, uh?”

“Thomas-“

“What would he even know? He hasn’t spent time with you since you were six, he knows absolutely nothing about you or your life!”

“That pretty much summarizes it, though”

Thomas’ gaze turned fierce, and Noah awkwardly smiled. “I’m just joking”

“Are you?”

“Yes, Thomas, Gods. Now, can we go join my sister before she yells at us?”

“Liv doesn’t yell”

Noah’s small smile turned smug. “Maybe to you, she doesn’t.”

His friend scoffed, but Noah could clearly see the grin on his face. Besides, the pace with which he walked over his house was too quick to go unnoticed. The prince smiled back, deciding not to comment on it for once.

**

When they stepped into the small house, Annie, Thomas’ mother, was cooking. Liv was sitting on the couch, a soft smile on her face as Jane showed her what she’d learned in her dance classes. At the end of the demonstration, Liv clapped her hands enthusiastically. “You’re so good! You really dance like a princess”

Jane’s gaze lit up. “Really?”

“Absolutely. Do you have a dress for the show?”

“Mom said that I could use the one from last year” Jane said, but it was very clear that she wasn’t happy about it. Thomas’ family wasn’t poor, exactly, but they weren’t rich, either. They had four children to feed and, even with Thomas dropping his studies to help the farm, money still didn’t seem to be enough. It was already a miracle that they could keep paying for Jane to go dancing. It was, objectively, an useless expense, but both Thomas and Annie had been irremovable about it. They didn’t want her to give up to something that important to her. Noah had tried to offer his help more than once, but they hadn’t accepted it. That wasn’t why they kept him around, they’d said. And, even though the thing had moved him more than he was comfortable to admit,it had also frustrated him. It killed him to have more money than he could spend and still being unable to help his best friend. So, he had offered to help in the fields instead, working there every time they needed him. John, Thomas’ father, almost had a heart attack the first time he’d showed up at five in the morning, willing to do anything he could to relieve their weight. He’d told him that the fields were no place for a prince, and that his father would’ve had his head if he’d have permitted his son to work like a farmer. Noah had smiled at that, and he’d told him not to worry: he wasn’t a prince, not in the ways that mattered, and his father wouldn’t have minded.

“Oh, well, I’m sure your dress is amazing.” Liv told Jane, and then, like she’d only thought about it, she gasped. “Oh gods, I forgot to tell you!”

Jane’s blue eyes widened. “What?”

“I need a model for the new dress I’m making, and you’re just the right size!”

“Really?!”

Liv’s smile was bright. “Yes, what color would you like?”

Annie stepped in as Jane was about to answer, bringing her daughter to her side with a patient smile. “You don’t need to do that, your highness. You already sewed them two dresses this winter”

“It would be my honor to dress the most incredible dancer of the reign” Liv assured her, making Jane beam.

“I want one, too” Sophie exclaimed, “it’s not fair that only Jane gets to have it!”

“Sophie!” Annie scolded her, but Liv’s smile remained unfazed.

“Of course you can have it too, little star. What color would you like it?”

As the twins got into a long debate about the right color to choose, Noah chuckled, and he turned to see that Thomas, too was smiling. Not at his sisters, though, but at Liv. He was looking at her with both gratitude and warmth, the kind of gaze he reserved for his family.

“You’re staring” Noah provoked him, gaining a light shove.

“I’m not, shut up”

“You should be the one to close his mouth. You’re drooling”

Thomas blushed, muttering some nonsense before getting inside. As Noah followed him, Annie’s eyes immediately were on him.

“You’re home” She welcomed him, going up to him to hug him tight.

Noah did his best not to choke as he embraced her back. “Hi, Annie”

_Home_

She held him for another five seconds before pulling away, smacking her hand on his chest. “Do you want me to have an attack? Two entire weeks, no letters, no messages, nothing!”

Noah winced. “Ouch, what’s with you guys and violence today?”

She ignored him as she continued: “You weren’t at the palace, you weren’t here for sure, so what could I do? I asked Thomas, but he knew nothing either!”  
Noah felt a strange twist in his heart at the concern in her voice.

“I’m sorry, Annie”

Annie’s eyes softened, and she brushed away a stray of his dark hair from his forehead. The touch was so light and delicate that he did his best not to close his eyes. “I know better than to ask you where you’ve been, but make sure to warn us next time, okay? We were worried”

“I was not,” Thomas offered, “Noah is like a stray cat: he can get away, but he’ll always come back when he’s hungry”

Noah chuckled, but Annie raised an eyebrow. “That’s why you wanted to go look for him at four in the morning?”

The prince’s breath itched, and he looked at his best friend, who’d lost all the smugness of before. He looked away from them, pretending to be very interested into a spot on the wall.

“I had time before the culture that day”

“Oh, Thomas” Noah began, but his friend stopped him with a gesture of his hand.

“Two weeks were quiet a lot to pass without a word” Thomas admitted, “I thought you could be in trouble”

Noah knew that Thomas loved him, maybe just as much as he did. He had showed it to him every time he had come when Noah had needed him, without complaining or rubbing it in his face later. Nonetheless, when they’d met earlier, Thomas hadn’t said a word about his absence, so Noah had just assumed that he hadn’t noticed. He hadn’t imaged that not only he _had_ noticed, but he’d even wanted to go out in the middle of the night to search for him.

“I didn’t mean to make you worry” Noah said, the twist in his heart tightening, “I’m sorry”

Thomas nodded once. “It’s fine, I’m just glad that you’re okay”

“I promise to give you a warn next time”

“You better, or else I’ll be forced to put you a collar like a real cat”

Noah smiled at the thought. “Why didn’t you ask anything? I thought-“

“That I hadn’t realized you weren’t here? Noah, it’s been weeks, how couldn’t I notice?”

The prince didn’t answer, choosing to shrug instead.

Thomas sighed, like he hadn’t really expected him to say anything. “I didn’t want to be another person who cages you down, who thinks to have the right to tell you where you should be and what you should do. You’re your own person, and you answer to no one, not even to me”

Noah’s throat closed down at the sincere affection in his words. “I needed to be alone for a while” he explained, feeling ashamed, “Sorry”

“You don’t need to apologize”

“I didn’t drink”

Thomas’s mouth lifted. “I didn’t ask”

“I know, but I wanted to tell you. I didn’t drink, I swear”

“I believe you”

“We both do” Annie assured him, giving him a brief kiss on the cheek, “we’re proud of you”

Noah’s eyes reddened. Maybe, he wasn’t so useless after all.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**VICTOR**

Victor did his best not to grimace as he let his body slowly fall into the cold water. His body was _on fire_ , and he didn’t seem to be able to stop it or to at least calm it down. He wasn’t used to these kind of things anymore. They used to happen a lot when he was younger, when his emotions weren’t tied down by his training or discipline. Those times, it was Noah who generally helped him out. He couldn’t touch him, because his skin became as piping hot as now, but he talked to him, and he made him laugh so much that he eventually forgot about his malaise. The same Noah who now preferred to spend his time even with strangers and criminals to avoid being at the palace, or near him, for what it mattered. At the thought, his temperature raised again, and he winced. The water was turning hot as well, making all his effort useless.

_Calm down_

_Breathe_

_If you calm down, your fire will as well_

“My **fire** is trying to kill me” Victor groaned out loud to the empty bathroom, but he took some deep breaths, trying to clear up his mind. He had to control this situation before the meeting with his father that evening. The king couldn’t know that it still happened, or he would’ve beaten this weakness out of him, as he did when he was a child.

 _“You’re the heir, the most powerful magic wielder in the family, and you’ll act like it”_ He’d say, as he always did. To let him know that Victor still let his emotions control his power would be a death sentence. It didn’t matter that it wasn’t his fault. He was the heir, and therefore he should’ve been able to be above such childish nonsenses. Victor knew that, and he was actually ashamed of himself for his body’s reaction, but seeing Noah after weeks of absence had really thrown him off. Not only his brother hadn’t shown up at any of the palace’s gatherings, ignoring his responsibilities as prince, but he hadn’t even said anything about it. Not an excuse, not even a fake one. What was Victor supposed to do in front of his arrogance and indifference? Hug him? Why did he always end up passing for the bad one? Why had Liv taken Noah’s side over his? He was the one who’d been there for her while their brother was Gods know where doing Gods know what.

He scoffed. The only thing Noah was good at was leaving others behind.

A knock on the door made him startle. “What?”

“Your highness, there’s a situation that demands your attention” Margaret, his personal maid, said from the other side.

Victor sighed. His body wasn’t as boiling as before, but he wasn’t ready to face his father yet. “I’m busy at the moment”

“I know, your highness, but this is about your brother”

“Isn’t everything?”

“He’s downstairs with your father” Margaret said softly, knowing all too well what that meant.

Victor got out of the water before he even had the time to think about it.

**NOAH**

If Victor despised him, he was nothing in comparison with their father. The king had always closed an eye about his life style, his habit of getting drunk and sleeping with both men and women. He didn’t care, as long as those occupations kept Noah well away from his precious palace. The problem stood when he returned home. He had only meant to bring Livvy back, but he had realized then that he had nowhere else to go for the night. Thomas’s family would’ve certainly hosted him, but they were already too many people in that small house, and Noah really didn’t want to be a bother. He usually didn’t mind sleeping outside, or maybe in good company, but he had already spent two weeks as a nomad. He was tired, and he wanted a real bed, preferably his own.

He’d been trying to sneak up in his rooms when his father’s voice had thundered from the throne’s room, making him flinch.

“I’ll be damned, my second son finally deigning us of his presence. Come here”

“Livvy” he whispered to his sister, “go to your room, I’ll deal with this”

Liv shook her head. “Father will be calmer if I’m there with you” She said, “I’m not leaving you”

“Now, Noah!” The king snapped, and Noah felt like he was six again, hiding into his closet to escape his father’s cruel words.

_You can’t play with Victor anymore, he’s the heir, he has to focus on things more useful than his useless, broken little brother._

_Disappear from my sight, I can’t even stand to look at you._

_I can’t believe you’re my son._

Noah did his best to smile to his sister, pushing back the memory into a dark corner of his mind. “It’s gonna be fine, go”

“But, I-“

“I swear to the Gods, if you make me come over there, Noah!”

Noah grimaced, rushing to the throne’s room with, unfortunately, his sister on his side.

So much for listening.

“Hello, father” He greeted the king, trying not to look at the empty throne next to his. His mother’s passing was a wound he hadn’t been able to face yet, even if five years had passed.

His father didn’t greet him back. “Come closer”, he said instead.

With his heart in his throat, Noah gestured his sister to stay back,and he took a few step forwards, finding himself face to face with the king. His father’s eyes were the same glacial turquoise as Victor’s, as well as his light blonde hair, almost white now. He was still wearing the hunting suit, and the crown on his head made him look even more intimidating. Noah wasn’t sure he was still breathing.

“I haven’t seen you in a while” His father stated and, by his tone, Noah knew that he wasn’t happy about the sudden change. “Have the taverns ran out of booze for you to drink?”

The prince’s scar itched, like very time he was feeling anxious. The impulse of scratching it was so strong that he had to hold his own wrist behind his back.   
“No, father” he simply responded, because he didn’t know what else to say.

The king hummed. “Why have you decided to come back, then?”

“Father” Liv intervened, her voice sweet, “it’s quiet late, and we’re all tired. Why don’t you join me for a walk in the gardens? They’re lovely at this hour”

“We’ll discuss about your insubordination later, Livia”

Liv’s eyes widened. “What?”

His father snorted, diverting his gaze off Noah to turn it on his sister. He looked disappointed. “The maid told me about how you disobeyed to your brother to follow Noah who knows where”

“Noah is my brother too, father” Liv said, holding the king’s gaze. “And I do not respond to Victor”

“He’s your future king, you will do as he wants!”

Liv frowned, and she was about to snap something back when Noah stepped in front of her, blocking her view from his father. “It wasn’t Liv’s fault. I shouldn’t have been here to begin with”  
The king’s eyes returned on him, and Noah wanted to disappear. His father was looking at him like there was nothing worse on the entire reign, like he’d been the damnation and the end of everything. “You’ve been nothing but trouble since the moment you were born”

Silence filled the room. Noah could hear his own heartbeat in his ears, and his wrist was burning for the strength with which he was holding it in his hand. He couldn’t speak, he couldn’t even _think._

At his lack of response, the king only looked more disgusted. “You’ve always been weak” he said, and he brought his hand back, as he was about to slap him.

Noah closed his eyes, ready for the hit, but it never came. Instead, his father growled,and the prince could hear him taking a step back. Noah’s eyes snapped open, and he saw that now, between him and the king, there was a thin wall of blue flames.

“Don’t hit him” Victor said, a few steps behind Liv.

Noah hadn’t even heard him approach. His military training had made him deadly stealth.

The heir’s hair was soaked, like he’d just gotten out of the bath, and he was wearing his informal clothes, the ones reserved for family dinners.

_And the quickest to change into._

“He’s the disgrace of this family!” The king screamed, outraged, “and how dare you use your power against your own father?”

Victor’s face remained neutral. “He may be a disgrace,” he conceded, and Noah’s heart cracked, “but he’s my responsibility as oldest brother and future king, as you yourself said.”

“I’m giving you three seconds to bow and retract your flames, Victor” The king stated, his tone glacial.

The heir didn’t look fazed by the threat. “I will do it, father, as soon as Noah gets out of the palace”

Liv’s head snapped in Victor’s direction, but their brother wouldn’t look at her. “I want him out”

Noah didn’t have the strength to respond, but a grin formed on their father’s mouth. “Do you?”

“Yes,” Victor confirmed, not missing a beat, “he’s only capable of creating disturbance, after all.”

“Victor!” Liv hissed, but Noah made her stay quiet with a shake of his head. He didn’t want to fight anymore. He was tired of struggling to fit in, to blend in, to try to _exist_ among his family. He didn’t have a place, and they’d made it more than clear. So, he smiled, and he just nodded in his brother’s direction. “I’ll go”

The flames that were in front of him disappeared. “That’s what you do best”

Liv took Victor’s arm, forcing him to look at her in the eyes. “If you let Noah walk away, I will never forgive you”

Noah was sure that his brother flinched at the words, but a few seconds later the sorrow on his face had been wiped out by a tight, serious expression. A king’s one. “I’m doing what is best for my court”

“No, you’re doing what is best _for you”_

“It’s okay, Livvy” Noah assured her, “I’ll go, and we’ll see each other soon”  
Liv’s face darkened. “Stop accepting this!”

Noah did his best to hold it in, but a laugh escaped his mouth. As if he had any other choice other than accept it and deal with it. As if he could, pushing enough, earn his spot at the palace. He’d lost it the day Victor had discovered his power and gained his title. His father didn’t have any use for him, his mother was dead, and the only one who tolerated his presence was Liv.

Victor frowned, but Noah couldn’t stop laughing. “Oh Gods, Liv, you’re so naive sometimes”  
“Don’t mock her” Victor warned him, but Noah’s smile softened.

“You have a big heart, Livvy. But, sometimes, things are simply what they are”

“I don’t want you to be alone again.” Liv affirmed, not losing her confidence, “if you go away, I’m coming with you”

“No, you won’t” The king stated, “if you make a move to follow him, I’ll have you arrested. I’m sick of this sudden rebellion of yours, and I won’t tolerate it any longer”

The royal guards, who’d been in silence since that moment, made a dangerous step toward Liv, hands on their swords. Her eyes widened, and even Victor looked incredulously at his father. Liv was his favorite, he’d never acted like this before.

“Do not touch her, I’m leaving” Noah was quick to add and, giving his sister a last glance, he left the palace.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm trying to make the chapters longer, but I always get too impatient to wait the deadline before posting!

**CHAPTER 4**

**VICTOR**

After being dismissed by their father, Victor followed his sister into her rooms. Partially, because he didn’t trust the guards to keep their hands for themselves after the king’s menace, and partially because he wanted to test the waters.

“Liv, wait”

Liv stopped with her hand on the door’s handle, but she didn’t turn around to look at him. “Is that an order?”

Victor ignored her tone. “I’m sorry about what happened”

“Are you? Because, to me, it looked like you were enjoying yourself”

“I protected him from our father!”

Liv whirled around, looking at him with rage in her blue eyes. “You kicked him out!”

“To _protect_ him”

“Yeah, right. The truth is that you’ve always hated Noah, and you couldn’t stand the idea of him being here with us”

Victor’s mouth twitched. “How is it that Noah avoids the palace as the plague, ignores all his responsibilities as prince, abandons you for weeks at time to do who knows what, and _I’m_ the evil one?”

“Noah avoids this place because things like _today_ happen!”

“Father would welcome him in a different way if he didn’t spend all his time trying to humiliate this family”

Liv shook her head. “You see? You keep blaming Noah for the way our father treats him, even though you _know_ that it’s not fair”

Victor couldn’t believe it. “Are you seriously suggesting that Noah has no fault at all?”

“All he experiences here is rejection” Liv said with a sigh, “I can’t resent him for not being around”

“But you can resent _me?”_

“You’re the oldest, you should be the one keeping us together. Instead, all you do is pushing Noah away!”

“He’s the one who bailed, Liv!” Victor snapped, “he’s the one who decided one day to just stop talking to me and spend all his time with strangers. And it’s not fair that I’m always, _always_ , portrayed as the bad guy”

Liv blinked once. “What are you talking about?”

“Forget it” Victor dismissed her, turning his back on her. “It wouldn’t change anything anyway. Go with him, come back whenever, or don’t come back at all. I’m done caring for you when you obviously see me as the monster who keeps you away from your precious brother”

“Victor-“ Liv tried to call him back, but the heir was already walking away.

***

**Noah**

Noah knew that he should’ve gone straight to Thomas’s house. He knew that his friend would have welcomed him with open arms.

Nonetheless, there was a painful, deep feeling in his stomach that didn’t make him feel quiet right. When would he become too much for Thomas and his family? When will they decide that he was not worth the trouble? When will he decide that being woken up late at night to pick him up was simply too consuming? When would Noah reach the bottom of Thomas’s patience? He didn’t know, but he certainly didn’t want to find out. So, even before his feet were aware of his direction, he found himself in front of a tavern. The twist in his stomach only got worse.

_You’re not supposed to be here_

_You’re sober_

_It’s been a month, that’s the longest time you’ve ever made it_

Yeah, he was aware of that. He’d made a promise to Thomas to get himself together, to stop trying to drink himself to death. He owed at least this much to his best friend. Actually, he owed him everything.

“Did you forget how to open a door? I can show you if you’d like”

Noah jumped a little at the voice. He recognized it immediately, and his body froze for a moment. That couldn’t be happening, not in the same freaking night of his father’s little show at the palace.

Or Victor’s.

The memory of his brother kicking him out of the building was still burning in his mind. He should’ve expected it by now, but he was that much of an idiot.

“Noah?”

Noah did his best to force a smile, turning a little to face Nik. “Hello. Nicholas, right?”

Nik smiled a little, leaning on the entrance. “You’re so funny”

“Wait, that’s not your name? How embarrassing”

“I’m surprised you remember anything at all. By the way you’ve been ignoring me, I thought you’d forgotten about my existence”

Noah’s breath itched. He didn’t think Nik would have noticed it. “Yeah, you know. I’ve been busy doing royal stuff like commanding people around to get things I don’t need and dress way too fancy for breakfast”

Nik grinned, and he looked down at his own white linen tunic, which should have looked horrifying, but he wore it with such confidence that he’d managed to make it look strangely elegant. “Damn, I feel underdressed now” he said, but the look on his face wasn’t embarrassed. If anything, his smile only widened. He didn’t seem to care that not only his clothes were rough, but even his hair was messy, with light brown strands in every direction.

Noah lightly smiled. For real, this time. “You’re fine, we’re not at the palace”

“Indeed, we are not.” Nik replied, a look on his face that promised nothing but trouble.“Should we get inside?”

Noah shouldn’t have said yes. It was too risky to get that close to booze, and he didn’t want to have Thomas pick him up again. Not after the pride he had scorched on his face earlier. He should’ve said no also because Nik was dangerous, and he should’ve kept his distance from him. Like, a hundred yards kind of distance. But, because Noah was famous for making terrible decisions, he nodded, letting Nik lead the both of them inside.

*

As soon as they stepped in, someone whose name Noah didn’t know put a cup in his hand. He smiled, passing it to Nik, who swallowed the entire of it in a single sip.

“Prince Noah saying no to a drink? I must be dreaming”

Noah almost chocked at the word prince. No one called him that, not anymore. When he was outside of the palace people didn’t even recognize him. Why would they? He hadn’t attended official gatherings since his mom passed. He was grateful for that, in a way. He didn’t have to pretend to be a prince if people didn’t see him as one. The only reason why Nik knew was because his job was to know secrets and trade them for a living. Not that his existence was exactly a secret, but knowing the royal family and its members was part of his job, too. That was another reason why he should’ve stayed well away from him. He couldn’t trust someone who got into people’s lives and sold their privacy for money.

Noah, then, ignored the question altogether, giving him a lazy smile. “Do you dream about me a lot, Nik?”

The other grinned back, brushing the tip of his finger under Noah’s chin. “Quiet often, do you wanna know what you do in my dreams? Or better, what I do _to_ you?”

“You kill me in my sleep and then you tell everyone I’ve been killed in a conspiracy, so you can make a lot of money by saying that you, and only you, know why?” Noah guessed, taking a step back.

Nik’s golden eyes sparkled with amusement. “That’s actually a good idea. Gods, I wish I had thought about it when we were alone. Now there are too many witnesses”

“I’m sure you could get away with it”

“Yeah? Getting away with killing the king’s second son?”

Noah chuckled. “I think you’re the only one in this hell hole who knows who I am”

“Well, you’ve disappeared from the public eye. Oh, why is that by the way?”

Noah’s smile stretched. “Why do you ask?”

Nik shrugged, taking a sit in front of the host like he were at his own home. Honestly, or the time they’ve both spent in that place, it could’ve been. “Just curious”

“Your questions always have a reason behind them, Nikolaj” Noah said, faking ignorance. Like he wasn’t aware that getting insides about the king’s second son wouldn’t have gained Nik a fortune.

Nik’s smile didn’t waver an inch. “I thought you didn’t remember my name”

“And I thought you had more game. Guess we were both wrong”

“More game?”

Noah sat next to him, pretending that he didn’t smell alcohol everywhere. His scar itched, but he ignored it, pulling his left sleeve up to cover it. “Your question was way too straight, Nik. I’m honestly disappointed, I thought the biggest spy in the reign would have played his cards way better”

“Maybe I’m not playing, maybe my question was genuine” Nik offered, but the curve of his mouth suggested otherwise.

“You don’t care about anyone enough to make a genuine anything”

Another of the endless reasons not to be near him.

“True” Nik conceded, even if Noah noticed that the grip on his cup tightened a little. “Let’s make a deal then”

“A deal?”

“Yeah, why not? You give me some answers I can actually sell and I will give you something you want in return”

_How about a beer_

_Or twenty_

Noah scoffed a laugh, the itch on his wrist almost unbearable. “You don’t have anything I want, I can assure you that”

“That actually hurts after our big night, prince Noah” Nik said innocently but, by the smug look on his face, it was clear how much he had waited to bring it up.

Noah forgot how to breathe for a moment. He thought it would’ve been a ‘ we don’t talk about it ever again’ kind of situation. Clearly, Nik didn’t feel it the same way. Who knew how many times he had thought about the perfect way to rub it in his face about how much of a joke that night had been.

He hid his discomfort as well as he could, putting a smile on his face. That was all he did those days, wasn’t it? “You’ll have to be more specific than that, Nicholas. I spend a lot of big nights with a lot of interesting people. If I don’t recall you, you probably haven’t been as great as you think”

Nik’s mouth did a little twitch at the name. He was full aware that Noah had pleasurably discovered how much it bothered him when people got his full name wrong. Before it had sounded like an innocent jab, but now it had been done on purpose, and the spy knew it.

_“Nikolaj, really? That’s your full name?”_

_Nik smiled, caressing Noah’s right hip with the tip of his fingers. The blanket they had used to cover themselves up was abandoned on the floor, but neither of them seemed to care. It was still dark outside, so that meant they had a little more time before returning to their lives. They could pretend a little longer to be just two guys who met in a tavern and ended up in each others’ arms. They could pretend they weren’t using each other, one for secrets and one for escaping the loneliness imprisoning his heart._

_“Yeah, really.”_

_“I thought your full name was Nicholas”_

_“Everyone does”_

_Noah grinned at the annoyance in Nik’s voice. “Not you, the big, scary, feared spy getting all worked up over a name”_

_“It was my grandfather’s name” Nik admitted, using his free hand to softly touch the prince’s dark hair. “He raised me when no one was available to do it and he gifted me his own name when he had nothing else to give. I’m proud of it”_

_Noah’s own smile brightened. “I like it, it suits you”_

“Pettiness doesn’t look well on you” Nik commented casually, but Noah could see the cup in his hand lightly jerking for the strength he was holding it with.“Maybe you should have a drink. It would make you more likable”

Noah resisted to the impulse to cringe at the words. He didn’t need alcohol to be liked. Getting drunk wasn’t all there was about him, he could be more, he could be better, he knew he could. Then why the longing for it had only became more urgent? “I quit drinking”

Nik stopped the hand he was bringing to his hair, as he did whenever the conversation took a route he didn’t like. Instead, he chose too look at him with widened eyes. “No, you didn’t”

“You’re right, I didn’t” Noah conceded, “but I’m trying, so stop bringing it up”

Nik smirked knowingly. “Why, does it bother you?”

Noah snorted. Damn Nikolaj, always waiting for an open flank to hit on, and damn himself for falling right into it. He had learned the hard way not to share anything with him. “Why don’t you just tell me what you want so we can call it a day?”

Nik wisely dropped the argument, aware that he had way more pressuring topics to bring to the table. “You don’t know what I’m willing to give to you in return yet”

“A headache and an impelling need for emotional detachment?”

“You should be a jester, seriously”

“Yeah, the king thinks so too. I’m _that_ fun”

Nik rolled his eyes, but a smile was already forming on his mouth. “I think you’ll want what I’m gonna offer you”

“And what would it be?”

“A job for your friend, the farmer”

This peeked Noah’s interest, ma he knew better than to show it openly. He feigned indifference as he asked: “You mean Thomas? He has a job already”

“Yeah, to sweat his entire body off under the sun for twelve hours a day. I know you want more than that for him”

He did. “And would this job imply?”

“The gunsmith needs an assistant. Better pay, less hours, less sweat”

Noah scoffed. “Thomas knows nothing about weapons”

“He doesn’t need to,” Nik assured him with a grin, “he’ll be taught everything by scratch if I say so. The gunsmith owes me a favor”

The prince thought about it for a moment. “If we do this, Thomas can’t know I did it. You’ll have to present the job to him without saying I had any part in it”

“And why’s that?”  
“He’ll refuse if he thinks that I gave it to him”

Gods knew how many times he had tried to get a better living for Thomas. At the beginning, with money. Then, by offering any position in the reign he wanted. Noah didn’t have a lot of influence, but he would’ve pulled any string he could to give Thomas a better employment. He would’ve even asked his brother for it, if his best friend would’ve accepted. He didn’t.

Nik chuckled. “The farmer doesn’t want the advantages of being friend with a prince? He’s dumber than he looks”

“The farmer has a name, and I suggest you use it” Noah warned him, “and not everyone wants me for their own interests”

The imply in that couldn’t be more clear, but Nik kept a straight face, the smile on point as always. “We used each other that night, Noah”

And it shouldn’t have mattered, it shouldn’t have hurt, but it did, and Noah didn’t even know why. In the last years of his life, he had slept with more people he could count, and none of those nights had been particularly memorable. The only thing distinct about Nik was that he’d known him before sleeping with him. It had felt different, then: more intimate. They had spent the rest of the evening talking about everything and nothing at all, and the prince had felt a strange sensation of peace. He didn’t have to escape or wait for the other person to go; they knew who the other was, and they had almost nothing else to hide. He had hated himself after that night, precisely because he was aware of who Nik was: an emotionless secret-seller, who would’ve betrayed anyone for the right amount. Expecting anything else from him was absurd, but Noah had done it anyway. Useless to say, Nik hadn’t spent much time to prove him wrong. And, nonetheless, here he was: not surprised, but disappointed anyway, once again.

“Indeed, we did.”

Nik’s golden eyes darkened a fraction. “You asked me what I wanted, earlier”

“I did”

“I want the heir’s weakness”

Noah’s eyes widened. All this time, he’d thought that Nik wanted to know about him. What a fool he’d been, of course it was about Victor. A future king’s secret would be way more precious than a prince’s. “You can forget it”

“Really?” Nik asked with surprise, “I thought you hated him”

“I don’t hate him, he’s my brother”

“Your brother, uhm?” The spy mused, “I thought you called him ‘a shadow over your life who watches everything but understands nothing’”

Noah’s jaw tightened. He didn’t even remember saying that, he probably had been way too drunk.

Again.

Maybe Victor was right, maybe all he did _was_ getting drunk and humiliate his own family. Look at him: getting wasted and talking ill about the future’s king to the reign’s worst spy. No wonder his father was ashamed of him.

“Victor is my brother” Noah repeated with calmness, even though if his heart was racing and his scar burned, “and I won’t betray him, no matter how many times he may have pissed me off”

“C’mon, you would choose him over the farmer?”

“I’m not choosing him over Thomas” Noah said, even if he kinda was, wasn’t he? The thought was enough to make him scratch his wrist, finally free from the iron grip his other arm’d had on. Thomas was his best friend but, at the end of the day, it was just a job he was turning down. With Victor’s weakness, instead, who knew what Nik could’ve done, or who he could’ve referred it to. They had just enough troubles with the resistance, they didn’t need other enemies with an ace up their sleeves.

“Your loyalty is moving, really” Nik mocked him with a hand on his heart, “but for what? The heir doesn’t care about you, does he? He only cares about the little sister”

“Leave her out of this”

“Oh, princess Livia, a show for the eyes. It’s really a shame she hasn’t married yet”

Noah gritted his teeth. “She has nothing to do with this”

“Oh please, everyone who has ever met the royal family knows that the heir would do anything for his sister”

“Your point being?”

Nik smiled patiently, as if he was explaining something to a little boy. “Everyone knows this, but nobody knows about you, prince Noah. In the eye of the court, you don’t matter, you don’t even exist. Your brother, the one you defend so much, hasn’t talked about you in years.”

He knew that. Of course he knew, but why hearing it from Nik’s mouth had stung it just a little more? “Yeah, what can you do? He was afraid I would steal his thunder and all that”

“Or maybe you’re as well as dead to him”

_He’s a disgrace for this family_

_Always playing the victim_

_I want him out_

_He’s only capable of creating disturbance, after all_

Noah could feel the blood flowing out of his wrist for the strength he had dug his nails in. He ignored Nik’s stare as he turned his attention to the host. “A beer” he ordered, before his common sense could change his mind. He’d tried, but this day was just too much to get by sober. Thomas would’ve forgiven him, eventually.

The man nodded, and Nik waited just a moment before saying :“I thought you quit”

“Yeah,” he confirmed as the pit in his stomach turned deeper,“me too”


End file.
